Take my hand and watch the world go by...

Life seems to be speeding by without me.

Senior year is almost over, and I feel like I missed it.

I like being alone. A lot. But I feel like working has taken the place of my social life.
I'm not home that much, and I'm not alone that much, but I'm certainly not hanging out with people.
Which is fine.
It's just hard to catch up with someone, and realize just how much has changed in their lives
and how little is going on in your own.
Outside of books, that is.

I caught myself spiraling in today. I was reading and listening to music, sitting alone at a table in Child Development. Occasionally, I would pull out my notebook and write in it.
I shut people out.
And when I talk to people, I don't ask questions.
I just don't know how.
I tell stories. I ramble. Generally, my friends interrupt.
But the ones who I want to know the most about just let me talk.
I want people to be like books.
If I give them time and attention, they'll give me a peek into another world.
Sometimes I need to ask to be allowed in.
I'm not sure I know the password.

"There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting Monologues. That is all."
-Rebecca West


Also, I found a bouquet of roses in the gutter today. So if you see rose petals scattered along the street or roses playing hide and seek, you'll know why.